How to give a pill to a Cat or Dog, Oh, and the Author’s still in rehab!

Hansi's World

HOW TO GIVE A CAT A PILLGinger domestic kitten (Felis catus) rolling on back playing

1   Pick cat up, cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger & thumb on either side of cat’s mouth, gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens its mouth, pop pill in.  Allow cat to close mouth & swallow.

2   Retrieve pill from floor, get cat from behind sofa.  Cradle cat in left arm, repeat process.

3   Retrieve cat from bedroom, throw soggy pill away.

4   Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm, holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.

5   Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe, call spouse from garden.

6   Kneel on floor with cat…

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The Goat Whisperer (hehe)

The quality of this picture is bad, as are the clothes I threw on to go down to bottle feed my 6-7 week old goats every 6 hours.   We had all kind of animals, we became a home for abandoned cats & dogs, abused horses, I raised fowl from 2-3 days old also.  It was a lot of work, but I loved it, well usually, as you can see, I’m glaring at my husband for taking the picture, sorry honey.  (=

Feeding our Pigmy Goats, Clover & Holly, they're 6-7 wks old

HOW TO GIVE A PILL TO A CAT OR DOG/Author’s name unknown/he’s still in rehab!

HOW TO GIVE A CAT A PILLGinger domestic kitten (Felis catus) rolling on back playing

1   Pick cat up, cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger & thumb on either side of cat’s mouth, gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens its mouth, pop pill in.  Allow cat to close mouth & swallow.

2   Retrieve pill from floor, get cat from behind sofa.  Cradle cat in left arm, repeat process.

3   Retrieve cat from bedroom, throw soggy pill away.

4   Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm, holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.

5   Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe, call spouse from garden.

6   Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws, ignore low growl as emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head down with a ruler and rub cat’s throat vigorously.

7   Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.

8   Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil and blow into drinking straw.

9   Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink 1 beer (to take taste away).  Apply Band-Aid to spouse’s forearm and remove blood from carpet with soap and cold water.

10  Retrieve cat from neighbor’s shed, get another pill. Open another beer. Place cat in cupboard and close door onto neck, leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon & flick pill down throat with elastic band.

11  Fetch screwdriver from garage to put cupboard door back on hinges. Drink beer, fetch bottle of Scotch. Pour shot, drink. Apply cold compress to cheek & check records for date of last tetanus shot, then apply whiskey compress to cheek to disinfect. Toss down another shot. Throw tee-shirt away & fetch new one from bedroom.

12  Call fire department to retrieve cat from tree across the road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from wrap.

13  Gently tie the little *&%#’s front paws to rear paws with garden twine & bind tightly to leg of dining table, find heavy duty pruning gloves from shed. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of fillet steak. Hold head vertically to pour 2 pints of water down throat to wash pill down.

14  Consume remainder of Scotch. Get spouse to drive you to the emergency room, sit quietly while Doctor stitches fingers & forearm. Remove pill remnants from right eye. Call furniture shop on way home to order new table.

15  Arrange for SPCA to collect cat & call local pet shop to see if they have any hamsters!

HOW TO GIVE A DOG A PILLdogs 9

1   Wrap it in bacon (or a piece of hot dog, or a piece of cheese…)

2  Done!

In Memory of a Friend for Life

I say my prayers as I go to bed

and just below where I lay my head

this magical creature sleeps so near

like she’s been doing for so many years

She stole my heart as a pup

two black eyes in a ball of fluff

time went fast from moments to years

as I lay with her I push back the fear

gathering her close to savor our time

she’ll be with me forever

this little angel of mine.   Hansi Riley

Casey March 2013 died on March 22 2013 my chubby bunny 1

We got her at 8 weeks old and she blessed us with her love, friendship, puppy like exuberance, intelligence and joy.  She gave us so much more than we could have ever given her.  She will be with us always.